Congratulations, President-elect Purple Monkey Dishwasher

The final tallies are pending, but the citizenry has voted and America has completed its greatest-ever exercise of democracy,[1] courtesy of a massive game of political telephone. This is no reference to the political adds that berated phones via text or call, but the method upon which voters made their decision – one in which a person says one thing to another, who tells another thing to another, who tells another thing to another, who then completely misunderstands and misrepresents the subject due to failures of communication and lapses of knowledge in the chain.[2]

The 2020 election was largely framed as a referendum on Donald Trump’s presidency, and the exit polls would seem to suggest it played out as one.[3] But with that focus, the challenger’s campaign was able to leave voters in the dark respecting some critical positions of Trump’s opponent,[4] also known as Joe Biden.[5] Access was commonly limited to the Democratic candidate, even days at a time,[6] answers were vague,[7] an apparent effort to remain non-committal. Voters were permitted little knowledge regarding what Biden would do once in office, leaving it open to the discretion of all – let the reader use discernment. Consequently, the moderates could claim he would bring unity and stability to Washington[8] while progressives could claim he would usher in the transformative change championed by the left.[9]

Before the election, both could appear right, even if neither was. Unfortunately, when the rubber meets the road – one is forced to escape the abstract and govern – the policies and preferences of progressives and moderates become mutually exclusive, which is why Democrats in Washington are dropping the gloves as they begin jockeying for positions and priorities within the Democratic party in a post-Trump era.[10]

The result of this personal color-by-number candidate was an ever-changing avatar, he who is whomever a voter says he is at any given moment. Naturally, with this comes the misinformed – albeit not entirely the voters’ fault – misinforming others, which leads to misinforming others. And therein lie the national game of political telephone, where from wherever one began, whatever Biden truly is, we ended up with a president-elect whose policies and principles remained somewhat elusive. Is he the progressive he portrayed himself to be during the Democratic primary and by selecting a liberal multi-racial woman from California as his candidate for Vice President, or the moderate he promised to middle America in winning back swaths of the Rust Belt?[11]

Who is to blame for this confusion? Everybody – story selection and coverage from the traditional media and pundits,[12] the unwillingness of reporters to press Biden for positions,[13] his campaign for denying access and interviews,[14] social media blackout with censorship of conservative content,[15] democracy itself through the expansion and ease of voting,[16] and voters willing to accept the parameters of the election established by the elites, deciding the fate of the country without making the increasingly difficult effort to learn the facts, often relying on those other participants in a sometimes literal game of telephone as we waited for cues and direction to come through our smartphones via our trusted partners at (and on) Facebook and Twitter.[17]

Could the same be said of all voters, including Trump’s? To a certain degree, no doubt, as may always be the case, particularly as Americans continue to live in their political bubbles with a view to their preferred media sources.[18] But, unlike Biden, Trump consistently made himself available to the press,[19] rarely dodged questions, repeatedly presented his positions to the public and had nearly four years in office from which voters could gauge his performance. Regardless of what one’s opinion of him was, there was demonstrable evidence of his positions and intentions.

In the end, as the apparent winner continues to be coy about the details of his daily activity, a curious sign that he may not be honoring the transparency he promised only months ago,[20] will the real Joe Biden ever stand up?

America is about to get precisely what it was looking for, precisely what Democrats promised – not Donald Trump.

Congratulations to the 46^th President of the United States, Purple Monkey Dishwasher.

[1] Oma Seddiq, Nearly 140 million votes have been cast so far, the most ever in a US presidential election, (Business Insider, 2020)

[2] Chinese Whispers, (Wikipedia, 2020)

[3] National Exit Polls: How Different Groups Vote, (The New York Times, 2020)

[4] Steven Nelson, ‘Shut up, man!’ Biden refuses to answer court-packing question during presidential debate, (New York Post)

[5] Lisa Lerer, Joe Biden, Generic Democrat, (The New York Times, 2020)

[6] Emily Jacobs, Biden calls lid on campaign events until after debate with Trump, (New York Post, 2020)

[7] Alicia Cohn, Undecided voters in pollster focus group describe Trump as ‘controlled’ and Biden as ‘vague’ in debate, (The Hill, 2020)

[8] Sean Sullivan, Biden making increasingly aggressive pitch to moderate voters, (Washington Post, 2020)

[9] Matthew Yglesias, Progressives don’t love Joe Biden, but they’re learning to love his agenda, (Vox, 2020)

[10] Elaine Godfrey, The Democratic Truce Is Over, (The Atlantic, 2020)